Sweat Bee in a Dandelion

Sweat Bee in a Dandelion


Nonchalant
What you want
If it comes
It's after the end
And I'm all dumb luck here with you
Sweet and wrong
Still talkin'
If it comes
It comes after the end

You are and so am I
I oblige
Pervert, be kind
Oh, my mind had gone elsewhere
We are outside

Self-taught
Like a bad habit
Beautiful lick wounds
Romantic
Love and fame, please don't forget
Am I to be inanimate?

Sweat bee in a dandelion
Taste like ice
Pervert, be kind
Oh, my mind had gone elsewhere
We are outside

You are and so am I
I oblige
Pervert, be kind
Oh, my mind had gone elsewhere
We are outside


September 27, 2019

Fortune

Fortune


Elderflowers and sandalwood
The bones in your hands
They feel like piano keys
And your palms remind me of
Stained glass windows
Unfinished (or broken)

Of your fortune, I cannot read
But how fortunate I am to be
Holding your hand, for so long
For so long... So, so sweet
This brief connection

Words like feathers
Floating from my mouth
Some hawks and peacocks
But mostly down
And you whisper ravens and sparrows
To me
To me
To me
To me

Of your fortune, I cannot read
But how fortunate I am to be
Holding your hand, for so long
For so long... So, so sweet
This brief connection
So, so sweet
This brief connection


July 2019

Exhibition

Exhibition


Kiss crushed velvet
Coterie of skin
You say
But I'd rather have...
Their eyes on me
Their eyes on me

All pasley pupils
Black like black netting
Dilated so
The black rainbow, to give
You give to me
You give to me

Making
Porno for dead gods
Porno for dead gods
Porno for dead gods
Dead and dreaming

Kiss crushed velvet
Coterie of skin
You say
But I'd rather have...
Their eyes on me
Their eyes on me

Making
Porno for dead gods
Porno for dead gods
Porno for dead gods
Dead and dreaming


July 2019

Conserve

Conserve


Trapped by trappings
Prescribe me subscriptions
I have such slender means
And bloated dreams to sound

Pressured
Conserve the air to breathe...
Pressured
Conserve the air to breathe...

Steady drip, feed
My anxiety is caving-in
So distract me...
Cartoon violence
Swastikas for Noddy
Esoteric dives
For pearls of shock and awe

Pressured
Conserve the air to breathe...
Pressured
Conserve the air to breathe...

Trapped by trappings
Prescribe me subscriptions
I have such slender means
And bloated dreams to sound


July 2019

Charcoal Heart

Charcoal Heart


It's hard to watch you grow into yourself
And shed my projections
All the rubbings of a charcoal heart
It's hard to face them

Ask anyone who's ever tried to love me
They'll tell you I don't ever dance
Until... I wanted to dance with you

But you look happy
So much happier than I've...
Ever seen you before
You look happy
So much happier than I've...
Ever seen you before
Ever seen you before

All the rubbings of a charcoal heart
All the rubbings of a charcoal heart
All the rubbings of a charcoal heart
It's hard to face them

But you look happy
So much happier than I've...
Ever seen you before
You look happy
So much happier than I've...
Ever seen you before


July 8, 2019

Day For Night

Day For Night


Day for night
Living on borrowed time
No signal blue - dark starless sky

Day for night
Living on borrowed time
No signal blue - dark starless sky

Burning the candle from both ends
Taking the ride
Away from your friends

This is who you are
Haven't a thought - a thought to stop

Day for night
Living on borrowed time
No signal blue - dark starless sky

This is who you are
Sure as a salmon swimming raw against the rocks
Raw against the rocks


March 2019

Broken Things

Broken Things


I gather up my self-respect
It is a heavy stone held high over my head
The road is full of venomous snakes
How they hiss at me like many broken things
Would it not be mercy?
To bring my burden down?
In my place, would they not do the same?

Some people - I don't know how I've not given in
But I maintain that with no rock there is no real compassion

You tell me I'm too dismissive
That I'm too quick to turn my back on ferrel dogs
But it is so damn hard, having been bitten
To hear their barking as an earnest cry for help
But alone, unloved
What more could they be
In the outlands of self-fulfilled prophecy?

I know, I know, I know, I know but...

Some people - I don't know how I've not given in
But I watch you give and give only to be so taken

I gather up my self-respect
It is heavy stone, held high over my head
You say I'll never be until I let things go
If you could see the iceberg that I am below!
You talk of martyrdom
With so much flotsam
How can you ever forgive that which you've forgotten?

Some people - I don't know how I've not given in
But I maintain that with no rock there is no real compassion

So I carry on
I carry on
And I hold that stone up high
Trembling
Trembling
As is my love


November 8, 2018

Driving Past Your House at Night

Driving Past Your House at Night


Driving past your house at night
On my way home
Two silhouettes entwined
Inside your window
I try not to pay any mind
To what I know's not my concern
Owning up to feelings I simply wish weren't

Empty streets
Nobody left but the creatures of the night
She said I could stay over
But I couldn't make my head feel right - about it
I'm over you
Swear I'm really over you
Sometimes I get so low
I'd risk the bends to kiss your shoe
As you do

Driving past your house at night
On my way home
Two silhouettes entwined
Inside your window
I try not to pay any mind
To what I know's not my concern
Owning up to feelings I simply wish weren't

The town's too dark
Everybody wants to have a witch to burn for light
She said I could stay over
I didn't want to know which of us was right - about me
Stop messing around
I'm just messing around
For all that I know
I'm still a mess making messes
Bound to abound

Driving past your house at night
On my way home
Two silhouettes entwined
Inside your window
I try not to pay any mind
To what I know's not my concern
Owning up to feelings I simply wish weren't

Trying to be better than this
Trying to be better than this
But when no one is watching
I'm just trying not to lose my grip
Stare myself down in the rearview mirror


November 11, 2018

Known

Known


I could be a thousand miles from here
I could listen to everything
Untie the stars and draw new constellations
Go load my heart into a sling

You don't have a shackle on me
It's not about what's done and owed
They all want me to paint them vivid pictures
But with you I don't feel so cold

Give to me?
What's the use in giving
What we don't really have
But I have so much to give
That I don't really have
Oh, I have so much to give
So much that you can't hold
So much that I can't hold

You once asked, "If I could be with anyone...?"
So I told an old Marx Brothers joke
The more I'd alter with hypotheticals
The more they become mirrors in smoke

What if she didn't have a lover?
Wishing her sorrow, I'd hardly call that love
Wherever you wake up tomorrow
Honey, if you're happy, that's all I'll say I want

Give to me?
What's the use in giving
What we don't really have
But I have so much to give
That I don't really have
Oh, I have so much to give
So much that you can't hold
So much that I can't hold

I once felt your breath from between your lips
Pulled slowly in through mine
For just a moment
On a pinhead, foolish and divine
Oh well, nevermind
Fingertips caressing scars

I could be a thousand miles from here
Unweighed have past few offerings
Lotus or driftwood, we call much company
Simple props in our private tragedies

But you don't have a shackle on me
It's not about what's done or owed
As much as I could love anyone, I love you
I am grateful to know and feel known

Give to me?
What's the use in giving
What we don't really have
But I have so much to give
That I don't really have
Oh, I have so much to give
So much that you can't hold
So much that I can't hold


December 2018

The Voice from Down the Hallway

The Voice from Down the Hallway


Sad to see
Still I keep looking
Is it sadder to seek than to find?
Sometimes

Sometimes I think I'd rather keep on running
Endorphins pumping
In my mind, always
Hear a voice from down the hallway

Where are you?
You were there
I could have sworn, I swear
I don't believe in you
Where were you when...?
So many uniforms
So assured, so pressed on
Press me against the glass
Pin me to the cork
There are many forms of falling to make of me
And do I want to meet the voice from down the hallway?

Gazing
Glazed and green
I am turning into a knife
Inside

Inside I'm making such a spectacle
Outstretched in longing
In my mind, always
Hear a voice from down the hallway

And I follow you
As if swallowed into
Besides, the doors are all locked anyway

Where are you?
You were there
I could have sworn, I swear
I don't believe in you
Where were you when...?
So many uniforms
So assured, so pressed on
Press me against the glass
Pin me to the cork
There are many forms of falling to make of me
And do I want to meet the voice from down the hallway?


January 2019

Slow Train

Slow Train


Look up Annie, there’s a black train on my tail
How could I tell you who to love, how not to fail?
But for awhile I'd be good to you
And more than that, Lord I wish I knew
Going down the tracks, even a slow train catches you

Those aren’t stars in your eyes, only coins for the ferryman
(Hear that whistle blowin')
I still blame your parents for inviting the vampire in
(That train whistle blowing)
And all the times I said don’t run from home
But had I known, child, had I known
Hindsight's like a copper in a purse of ring-wove gold

You said, go down to the river if you’re lost deep in the woods
(Hear that whistle blowin')
I couldn’t hear the water so I followed what I understood
(That train whistle blowing)
And for awhile I didn’t feel any pain
Nor cold from walking in the winter rain
When your arms had found me, I felt no warmth, all the same

So look up Annie, there’s a black train on my tail
Wish I had more to give you than a ghost for your white whale
But for awhile, hope I was good to you
And more than that, I wish I didn’t do
Going down the tracks, even a slow train catches you

Hear that whistle blowin'
That train whistle blowing
Hear that whistle blowin'
That train whistle blowing...


Written in late 2017
Revised September 27, 2019

Devil to Blame

Devil to Blame


I am no stranger to your beauty
You've let down your hair often in my company
There are more than star-kissed eyes in your beautiful head
Full of thoughts to marvel upon
Fertile for awe and for dread

Devil to blame
I'll be your devil to blame
To topple the scales
And syphon the pain
You be my angel
And I'll do the same
I'll be your devil to blame
Devil to blame

I come to you when I am so world-weary
Whatever we do, it's not enough and yet so extreme
So much more to Heaven and Earth than in their philosophies
What you do with your time
Deserves no apology

Devil to blame
I'll be your devil to blame
To topple the scales
And syphon the pain
You be my angel
And I'll do the same
I'll be your devil to blame
Devil to blame

I am no stranger to your beauty
No stranger though lost in my familiarity
As I watch them cast to the fire such crude effigies
Knowing they do not know you
Knowing and not knowing

Devil to blame
I'll be your devil to blame
To topple the scales
And syphon the pain
You be my angel
And I'll do the same
I'll be your devil to blame
Devil to blame


January 3, 2019