Waltzing Until Then: Nighthawks at the IHOP

Nighthawks at the IHOP

Honey, I can’t sleep
I’m having too much fun being with you
Say, you want to take a midnight run?
The moon is bright and we’re still… young
Singing sha-la-la la-la
And I don’t care if it’s cliché
Or if they call me gay

A couple nighthawks at the IHOP
Put on my Tom Waits slouch for you
I want to stretch like a cat and act crazy
Laugh at all we’ve been through

(Chorus)
Nothing’s wrong
I just want to drive and drive with you
Because we finally can, babe
Because we finally made it

Let’s go down to the James
Take off our shoes and sit out on the rocks
Stare at the lights up on the bridge
Just like back when we were… in college
Ah, but I weren’t singing a thing back then
So afraid of being cliché
Or tripping up in some game

But you always pulled me out of my shell
And in the end I loved you for it
Made me stretch like a cat and act crazy
Realize that I want to live

(Repeat chorus x2)

Honey, I can’t sleep
I’m having too much fun being with you


June 28, 2009

Waltzing Until Then: No Music

No Music

You can put me in the hawthorn
I’ll push your rock and not complain
You can leave me to the vultures
If that’s the price to know your flame
But heaven to me, it is a ballroom
And you’re wearing that green dress
With fallen angels contra dancing
And then we’ll waltz….
We’ll waltz while the fallen rest

I’m not taken; I am given
And I regret not a thing
I’m not broken, blindly smitten
Nor a king buying his queen
I’m just yours
If you’ll have me
Either way my heart’s staying
Love’s a child
Dancing madly
When there’s no music playing
When there’s no music

You can tie me up in somedays
You can kiss me there and there
I will tie you up in laurels
And I’ll kiss you everywhere
And when it’s time for our unbinding
May sweet bays shine of the moon!
To stand forever in love’s defiance
A monument for lunacies…
For lunacies entombed

I’m not taken; I am given
And I regret not a thing
I’m not broken, blindly smitten
Nor a king buying his queen
I’m just yours
If you’ll have me
Either way my heart’s staying
Love’s a child
Dancing madly
When there’s no music playing
When there’s no music


July 28, 2009

Waltzing Until Then: Quick, Quick, Slow

Quick, Quick, Slow

Splayed on the table
Remnant private fables
But slow, slow
Quick, quick, slow
Now, again

Idle reflections
Folded paper rejections
And slow, slow
Quick, quick, slow
Now, again

Cigarette burns in
Your cream linen curtains…

Play again; just pretend
I’ll reserve everything
Fill your glass – tell me when
When will you tell me when?
I am… I am still
Still pouring
Slow, slow
Quick, quick, slow
Now, again

You want to take off
To tear off what is caught
And slow, slow
Quick, quick, slow
Now, again

Curved shards of ceramics
Dead flowers and latex
And slow, slow
Quick, quick, slow
Now, again

Promises of commitment
Dietary supplements
And slow, slow
Quick, quick, slow
Now, again
Now, again…

Count to ten, squeeze my hand
Tonight don’t let me win
Forehead against forehead
Let me in, let me in
I am… I am still
Still learning
Slow, slow
Quick, quick, slow
Now, again

You want big, big talk
Then pop goes bottled thoughts
And slow, slow – quick, quick, slow...
Pennies in the fishbowl
Car keys by the hamper
Slow, slow – quick, quick, slow...
Where have you been?
I’ve no right to an answer
Slow, slow – quick, quick, slow…

Count to ten, squeeze my hand
Tonight don’t let me win
Forehead against forehead
Let me in, let me in
I am… I am still
Still learning
Slow, slow
Quick, quick, slow
Now, again

Slow, slow
Quick, quick, slow
Now, again


July 23, 2009

Waltzing Until Then: Crazy Don’t Make You a Therapist

Crazy Don’t Make You a Therapist

You know just what my problem is
That’s the first thing you say to me
When was the last time you were here but for – brief, discreet pleasantries?
You read it on the internet
It’s all in the good book
Everyone is just as lost as you

(Chorus)
Crazy don’t make you a therapist
In therapy don’t mean you’re certified
You’re like a conquistador
Saying, ‘all I see is mine’
Saying, ‘all that I see… it is mine’

Sorry, I forgot: you can’t be wrong
You know I’m not raising my voice
You’re the one who’s gonna have a break down – if I don’t choose your choice
Your Babel tower model
You built with Jenga bricks
What did you really think I’d take from it?

(Repeat chorus)

Stop me if you’ve heard this one
While in spiritual vagrancy
With shades of white swatches on a ring – your feng shui rosary
Baby’s breath, mother of pearl
Eggshell… you drop the cards
All the king’s horses… alright, I’ll stop


May 8, 2009

Waltzing Until Then: Our Special Place

Our Special Place

Walking the haunted streets of Colonial Williamsburg at night
With a pint of Ben & Jerry’s and Ulysses tucked ‘neath my arm
On a bench, we sit, marooned upon an island of crisp lamppost light
And in the silence let our sight be fooled by what we muse there might
Have slipped around the corners of our eyes
Have slipped around the corners of our eyes

Now I’m looking for a MacGuffin to make me have to see you once again
To handcuff us together in a misery that’s all just for pretend
That’s all just for a silly feeble act to save ourselves a little face
For the people we know we no longer are, back outside our special place

Running through the sprinklers on the campus of William and Mary
Toasting pomegranate sodas to getting married late in May
As fireworks fill up the sky like bees from a ravaged apiary
I do find your features very pleasing as my thoughts get airy
While making babies with our eyes—so goes the time
Making babies… so goes the time

Now I’m looking for a MacGuffin to make me have to see you once again
To handcuff us together in a misery that’s all just for pretend
That’s all just for a silly feeble act to save ourselves a little face
For the people we know we no longer are, back outside our special place

With a sunflower for a scepter
I’ll be king if you’ll be queen
Strolling through the farmer’s market
The morning after, still clowning

And we’re looking for a MacGuffin to make me have to see you once again
To handcuff us together in a misery that’s all just for pretend
That’s all just for a silly feeble act to save ourselves a little face
For the people we know we no longer are, back outside our special place


July 18, 2009

Waltzing Until Then: Bane of Consistency

Bane of Consistency

Jetlagged without a ticket stub
Hung over without a drink
Throw some water in my face
Just got to make it through a couple more days

We can’t keep going like this
We’re not still invincible
Need a system, I think
Before it’s over I might eat some crow

I know
That you’re not ready for this
I know
You’ve got to find it for yourself
But right now
I’ve got to stand up or drown
While I’m still in the shallows
While I’m still in the shallows

I’m running on my last leg
Pogo’ing on a splintering peg
Serves me right, dancing in mind fields
The more you shout the more I plant my heels

We can’t keep going like this
We’re not still invincible
Hitting bottom, I think
Before it’s over we might eat some crow

I know
That you’re not ready for this
I know
You’ve got to find it for yourself
But right now
I’ve got to stand up or drown
While I’m still in the shallows
While I’m still in the shallows
While I’m still in the shallows
While I’m still in the shallows


March 27, 2009

Waltzing Until Then: Play Dumb

Play Dumb

Sexy cynicism
Procrastinates the schism
Between being sarcastic
And candid narcissism
And this is how the night will go
We’ll go out to a picture show
With our friends and some people they know
And talk until we meet Godot
Just to buy a little time
Just to buy a little time
Just to buy a little time
Just to buy a little time
With pretty boys and angsty girls
Columbines
Fingering the clasp of your purse
Reduce; reuse; get humbler
Recycled blues for some sister
Yesterday’s news in a tumbler…

(Chorus)
And she can roll with it…
She can roll with it…
She can roll with it…
She can roll with it…

We went out to the picture show
With our friends and some people they know
We watched the aliens explode
After blowing up our monuments
And after it was all over
We loitered on the theater stairs
And talked about a scene or two
And argued like we really cared
Just to buy a little time
Just to buy a little time
Just to buy a little time
Just to buy a little time
With pretty girls and angsty boys
Two towers
Jack and Jill break all their toys
Reduce; reuse; get humbler
Everything got real and not clever
Yesterday’s news in a tumbler…

(Repeat chorus)

She can play dumb
She can play numb
Cause nothing hits you when you keep it post-modern
She can play dumb
She can play numb
Cause nothing hits you when you keep it post-modern
When does the joke get funny?
When can we joke about it?
When does the joke get funny?
When can we joke about it?
Sexy cynicism
Procrastinates the schism
Between being sarcastic
And candid narcissism
Just to by a little time…


July 28, 2009

Waltzing Until Then: Impossible Momentum

Impossible Momentum

You’ve got all the answers
The trophy wife and some plaques on the wall
Daughter’s a heartbreaker
Watch her dive in the swimming pool
Your Rubik’s cube sits with all sides solid
But these amusements are no longer complacent

Impossible momentum
You can’t live up to yourself anymore
Impossible momentum
You’re tempted by the cannibals

You’ve had all the adventures
Deep sea and sky dived and even climbed Everest
Jumped the shark in Memphis
All from your used car dealership
You wake from sleeping atop your mantel
Falling off with a crash on the Ikea coffee table

Impossible momentum
You can’t live up to yourself anymore
Impossible momentum
You’re tempted by the cannibals

Impossible momentum
You can’t live up to yourself anymore
Impossible momentum
You’re tempted by the cannibals


July 25, 2009

Waltzing Until Then: Brevity

Brevity

Talk, talk, talk
All of the details
Make the twitter bugs twitch
Spitting salt on the snails
Give me some brevity
Give me some brevity

Bobble my head
Like a bubblehead
Like there’s nothing inside
As if you’re filling it
Give me some brevity
Give me some brevity

(Refrain)
Cause I’m not really listening
Go on, go on – fascinating!
I’m just pacifyin’ the breeze
You breathe, you breathe
Every breath speaking
Cause there is nothing more than this
This this you seize
Blowing my kite in the trees
Like all of my daydreams…
Spare me some brevity

A-D-D
Got a caffeine need
Got to stay awake
Through my lobotomy
Need to get off early
To get off with something

Talk, talk, talk
All of the details
Go on and tie me to the tracks
In reach of the third rail
Give me some brevity
Give me some brevity

(Repeat refrain)


April 25, 2009 and revised May 11, 2009

Waltzing Until Then: Rupture

Rupture

No longer can say there’s a side I’m on
I listen to the songs
And question the words
This isn’t the first time I ever strayed from the herd
But this is the first time – I found the openness preferred

I can’t keep playing this part
Choking on my own damn heart
I’m swollen
I’m swollen
I need… to rupture
I’m swollen
I’m swollen
I need… to rupture

Trying not to say what is on my mind
I’m feeling so confined
Dragging these pelts
This isn’t the first time I ever thought for myself
But this the first time – I couldn’t turn to someone else

I’m all out of big ideas
But I’ve still got all of these fears
And I’m swollen
I’m swollen
I need… to rupture
I’m swollen
I’m swollen
I need… to rupture

I want revolution
Without a revolution
A tidy happy ending
Some spiritual prostitution
Cause I’m swollen
I’m swollen
And I need… to rupture
I’m swollen
So swollen
I need… to rupture

Daddy, tried to tell you what’s on my mind
But it didn’t come through
Mother, tried to tell you what’s on my mind
But it didn’t come through
Sister, tried to tell you what’s on my mind
But it couldn’t come through
No, no
And honey, tried to tell you what’s on my mind
But it didn’t come through
I just couldn’t get it out

Swollen
I’m swollen
I need… to rupture
I’m swollen
So swollen
I need… to rupture


June 27, 2009

Waltzing Until Then: Against This Silence

Against This Silence

Am I not any better than this?
I don’t know why I do these things
Maybe ‘I’m sorry’ will absolve the list
But I don’t know why I do these things

I don’t know…
I don’t know…
I don’t know…

Am I willing to lose everything?
Can’t hold on to gifts life brings
Don’t deserve the sunlight of spring
I don’t know why I do these things

Maybe I don’t want to be forgiven again
Maybe I want to know…
That I was always forgiven

Postulated like a preacher’s son
Took my bow as the image of grace
But against the silence, their great gentleman…
Oh, I don’t know why I do these things

I don’t know…
I don’t know…
I don’t know…

Clarice Gail was a beautiful girl
She had the heart of the preacher’s son
She lay with him on a violet hill
He lay with her, dreaming of Eden

Saw them there as I crawled through the mud
With chains and with brambles in my head…

When they drag me to the killin’ stage
May they shout, may they curse my name
I can bare any offering
Except the thought of no reckonin’

Tell ya I don’t want to be forgiven again
Against this silence…
Let me hear some answerin’!

Let me know…
Let me know…
Please, let me know…


July 9, 2009 and revised July 20, 2009

Waltzing Until Then: Cathy Catharsis

Cathy Catharsis

A knock on the door
Don’t pull out the spare mattress
Just hold me, she says
Her face looks terrible
How long has it been…
Since the last time that you’ve eaten?
–Just hold me, she says
Hold me like you did before
Things haven’t quite gone to plan
And I’ve been drinking about you
I’ve been drinking about you
Loosing my weekends
And everything is piling up

Should not give the benefit of the doubt
To friends with benefits

Cathy Catharsis
With kisses of arsenic
Cathy Catharsis
With kisses of arsenic
Likes them young and able
Dearest enabler

Been living clean
Said goodbye to the meetings
She scolds you and says
You only put a lid on a hole
Like a bear pit
You’ve covered it up with leaves
With midnight hounds on your heels
It’s like you cannot wait to fall
Misery likes company
And I’ve been drinking about you
I’ve been drinking about you
Don’t play the victim
You’re still the one who opened the door

(Bridge)
Promised it was just for one night
A little taste of the good old times
Throw a little dirt in the hole
To cover up the frozen eyes

Should not give the benefit of the doubt
To ghosts with benefits

Cathy Catharsis
With kisses of arsenic
Cathy Catharsis
With kisses of arsenic
Takes them young and able
Dearest enabler


June 27, 2009

Waltzing Until Then: Three More Weeks

Three More Weeks

Three more weeks until I see you
How many has it already been?
Three more weeks until I see you
What am I to do until then?

I write you letters every day now
I’m never too far from the phone
Three more weeks until I see you
Three more weeks I wait alone

Watching dragonflies perch on the tiger lilies over the pond
Watching the brown bats fly out of the old crumbling barn
Slowly the night arrives
Gone are the dragonflies
I feel a call vibrating from my cell phone

Three more weeks until I see you
Then we’ll lie under these stars
Three more weeks until I see you
Spring never sheds the cold…
It never really sheds the cold…
It never sheds the cold when you’re this far

I write you letters every day now
You send me pictures from your dorm
Three more weeks until I see you
Three more weeks till I am warm


February 7, 2009

Waltzing Until Then: Ashtray Pileup

Ashtray Pileup

He’s wearing his beer goggles
Warp the hands but the clock still tolls
Six months, six hours…
He can’t quit you both
Building an ashtray pileup
Building an ashtray pileup
Building an ashtray pileup
Pileup

He’s catching his second wind
But these sheets are cobweb thin
Through his fingers…
He breaks the ladder of smoke
From this ashtray pileup
From this ashtray pileup
From this ashtray pileup
Pileup

And he knows you can explain everything
How he’ll never believe what happened
And he knows he shouldn’t polish this off
But it’s almost dawn
He knows you can explain everything

Cuckold, his head is splitting
Or is the guilty old satyr showing?
Always making halos…
By blowing rings of smoke
Over an ashtray pileup
Over an ashtray pileup
Over an ashtray pileup
Pileup

A little bottle of artificial tears
You’ve been drinking with the pioneers
And you tell him that it’s all his fault
Dawn reaches through the blinds
Over a bottle of artificial tears

He’s catching his second wind
But you always leave him so damn thin
You got to quit him
Is broken better than broke?
Caught in an ashtray pileup
Caught in an ashtray pileup
Caught in an ashtray pileup
Pileup

April 5, 2009

Waltzing Until Then: Dutch Angle

Dutch Angle

A few more cracks in the sidewalk
Catching up with the locals
Hello…
Mr. Going Big Places
A few more empty rocking chairs
And oh, you shoulda been there
The tall tales…
End with the room so damn quiet

Everything’s the same but everything has changed
It’s all framed with a slight Dutch angle
Everything’s the same but everything has changed
Were the stars in my eyes always really just spangles?

Can you sort the faces I can’t face
From those I couldn’t take?
Don’t try
They keep adding more makeup
Waiting for the next thing to happen
Still unpacking Manhattan
I slacken
The strap round your shoulder

Everything’s the same but everything has changed
It’s all framed with a slight Dutch angle
Everything’s the same but everything has changed
Were the stars in your eyes always really just spangles?

A few more weeds in the sidewalk
A few more wedding bands
A few more rings…
Around the eyes of the burned out
Remember when you were just a kid
And you are still a kid
So don’t kid
Don’t look at me that way

‘Cause I’m at the bottom of the pool
Looking up at the chain link designs
Of ripple-bent sunlight
I’m at the bottom of the pool
I try to hold this view
But I’m
Always forced to the surface
Said, “Father, can’t you see I’m burning?”
“Father, can’t you see I’m burning?”
But I’m always forced to the surface

Everything’s the same but everything has changed
It’s all framed with a slight Dutch angle
Everything’s the same but everything has changed
Were the stars in the sky always really just spangles?


June 15, 2009

Waltzing Until Then: The Uncanny Valley

The Uncanny Valley

Smiling in a dollhouse
Blowing these loaded dice
In case it’s not all about who you know
I don’t feel small here
But I don’t want to go outside
That’s nice, but there are some things I don’t need to know

Something’s changed about you
Something’s changed about me too
Same thing with all of our friends
We used to be patrons
Now we’re patriots

In the freezer section
Then the self-checkout line
There are no moments of fantasized love
Come home to the dollhouse
And there’s a toy in every box
Every happy meal, and charitable contribution

Don’t pretend it doesn’t matter what you say
That the words don’t mean a thing among all the actions
And all the inactions that we’re enacting
And we’re always acting
But don’t pretend—no, no
Don’t pretend it doesn’t matter what you say
That the words don’t mean a thing among all the actions
And all the inactions that we’re enacting
And we’re always acting
But don’t pretend—no, no

Something’s changed about you
Something’s changed about me too
Same thing with all of our friends
We used to be patient
Now we’re the patients

I stare at you Sally
By the light of the TV set
Watching My Fair Lady
And wondering what’s left
Stare at me Sally
By the light of the TV set
In the uncanny valley
The honeymoon’s ended


July 20, 2009

Waltzing Until Then

Waltzing Until Then

1. The Uncanny Valley
2. Dutch Angle
3. Astray Pileup
4. Three More Weeks
5. Cathy Catharsis
6. Against This Silence
7. Rupture
8. Brevity
9. Impossible Momentum
10. Play Dumb
11. Bane of Consistency
12. Our Special Place
13. Crazy Don’t Make You a Therapist
14. Quick, Quick, Slow
15. No Music
16. Nighthawks at the IHOP